Onward Around

Sometimes it takes stepping away to find the silence of the heart. I have always carried this angst that I can only describe as a sense of being chased.  I add to an agenda full of lists. With all that is taking form in the world, I did not feel that I had a place.

There is so much more that is required, so much more we can do. Yet what to do and where to start? So I stood back when it was time to speak up. I fell silent not knowing where I belong in this dialogue that is close to the heart. Being a mixed-race child that grew up in the inner city of Baltimore always left me wondering?

Trying to fit in and ignoring one’s heritage was the approach that I chose for my course. It is only in my adulthood do I see the bright and beautiful elements that can only be described as our differences. I celebrate our individual discoveries that realign our passions towards progress.

As I had put on my fitted dress and red lips, I felt so out of sync as the business model is slightly shifting. I have taken this time away to redefine my position. Where do I stand as a woman and an entrepreneur in the current climate? I kept procrastinating on a pitch video edit.

All that is wonderful seems foreign, this is the discovery of finding our own sense of belonging. It is not a matter of belonging to the world, but to a self that is on fire. I had to pull the plug so that the inner world could charge. I have spent many hours walking in the forest.

Perhaps your ideas feel scary and you do not see how they will become a reality, but how will you ever know if you never start? Let now we the time to explore the course you direct through these paths.

Tips

  • It is ok to be wrong, to mess up, and to get lost.

 

  • If you cannot run, then walk. Keep showing up.

 

  • Start again every day with a mind to improve. Do three things today that will make your life better.

 

Note: Be kind to yourself. You are not striving for perfection. We are living for the joys that our heart brings forth.

It was tough watching myself on camera. After so many years of this work, I would have thought that I would be better. It is always rough when you begin to run, but if you stick with it there is a moment when the angst lets go and you start to get in the zone.

I had been sketching with sharpies for my lace illustrations but thought it fitting to move into quill and ink. I found a large feather in the forest and added it to my pen. 

Sometimes I watch some of my earlier work to be reminded that there are such beautiful stories and messages that are meant to be shared. This gives me the courage to try something new and trust my instincts to move towards things that are close to my heart.

My default is a constant state of giving up or questioning to the point of inaction. Then something happens and then I am redirected back on a path I thought was closed for construction. This Holly dress is being developed in Baltimore and then we will move on to the Cecelia dress. 

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