Going Inward

I had to take a step back and work on my own joy. To find spaces and ways to be in charge of my happiness. I was along for some sort of ride through school, work and a dream pursuit. I sort of expected that I would fall in love with myself or something. Instead I buried my spirit in the depths of passion through my work. I forgot to play and left myself within my own mystery.

I puzzled my heart with trying to figure out the art of life and love which should melt into one. I scratched the record and decided this needs to stop. All these dead-end trails that leave me terribly lost. I pulled the plug on my unhealthy run around. I took stock in what matters most and began to be my own hero. I stayed local and watched the signs.

Since my life in Bali, I have forgotten to breathe. Odd to say, but I figure it is something I can do more fully later. I can live on shallow breathes to get me by, but in all truth, they hurt the heart center of my chest. I have had specialist take a look and they confirm I am fine. I am just too busy rushing around to give the moment a try. It was odd ignoring the day of routine.

Yet there I found the discomfort that forces one to look inward, what in all of this is my fault? How can I change the way I live to have a bit more fun? I do not play, I do not dance, I have left nothing in my life to chance. So as I turn off the systems for this one week. I am enjoying the adventure that lets the heart dream.


  • Make a list of all the small, but important things that you have put on hold. The kind that needs attention, so you can breathe fully.
  • Make a list of what is holding you back from living your most fulfilled life. Then define the steps that can build into progress in find more balance and harmony.
  • Then do it! Within the next two days, knock out this self-check-in as if a doctor’s orders for this week. 
  • Value yourself! Figure out what that looks like and do it. Even in the small ways, take action with confidence and conviction. 
  • Find joy and nourish and spread it around.
  • Do not follow negative thoughts, let them fade and wash away. Then replace them with an alternative positive and uplifting perspective. 
  • Train yourself to share kindness in all your pursuits by smiling often. 

Note: It can be hard to surrender to the moment, to the day, and even perhaps to ourselves. It is ok to step back and breathe. It is ok to fight for happiness. Ultimately it is our choice to stay in loss or reach towards the light.

We timed our run perfectly. The rain had just passed and we found a trail near the house that lead us about 10 miles around the interior woodlands of our neighborhood.

The tall trees and such beautiful green was just what we needed to explore this lovely place we call home.

A beautiful blue sky opened up after the grey faded.

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