Twinkling Heart

Are you willing to let parts of you die, so that something from within can live? I have carried many old, but not good habits from my youth. Things that only the inner person knows.

The circumstances may be different, but the situation the same. Does one have to relive a nightmare until a decision is made to wake? In my case, it is a poverty of mindset. A constant state of not having enough, not being enough. Yet I know that there is so much more. So much within the inner call. Pulling it all out: junk drawers of overflowing closets. Going through to throw away what no longer serves. Release the emotional blocks.

I have been a busy baby bee ever since I could walk. Perhaps a nervous natured little spirit. Yet I know the importance of a time to play, yes I schedule my adult playdate time. It is at 3pm on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Well, as of late. The intensity of the work, which I love is the only way to grow the farm. Yet the strength of the farmer comes in those tranquil moments of twinkling at the moon.

By redefining our purpose and letting the universe step in, there is a chance for hope to take root. Have you ever gone for a run, a ride, a skate or anything that takes weight? The energy wants to slow down and turn back, for me it is every time. Yet if you stick with it and keep moving the energy renews.

Both mindsets are needed the one to let go and the one to live on. Clear the path so you can get on with walking your own dance.


  • I struggle bouncing back and forth between fun and work, so usually I remove the fun. This is just a matter of training and scheduling. Set a certain time of day when you will explore, even if for one hour. Walk around your neighborhood a different way. This releases the orderly blocks that holds the inner world. 


  • Put them on paper, or for me – google drive. Where are the blocks? What are the life occurrences that are keeping you from fully committing to your dreams?What are the roots behind the excuses? For me it is a ‘never having enough’ sense of holding back. This impacts everything I do.


  • It has been uncomfortable looking under the hood of my soul. Grabbing my child self to sit and look at my mess. Assessing how much I have neglected and why there are mechanical errors in my operation system? We itemize them one by one and prioritize which repairs to start. 


  • Once those drawers are cleared, what goodness will renew? What habits need to be trained to grow? I have sharp moments of intensity and then I fall off and get distracted and move onto that next thing. A form of unproductive procrastination. 


  •  Make a list of what needs completing before moving on to the next batch of dreams. There is a short documentary film, that I have had on the back burner. I make a list of my top two points of progress (1) Documentary (2) Last book in the Fashion Dream series: London Fashion Dream. 


  • Don’t give yourself a hard time when you get off track. Return and get yourself settled into starting at the bottom. The longer you spend away the more challenging it can be to return. But you can do it!


  • Returning to this blog with intension has been another sort of challenge that holds me to the path I am carving. I started writing 7-years ago when I moved to Bali to build the fashion company, but early on I realized that I was keen to cultivate my written voice. So, I kept writing. I think there are three times along the way I stopped writing and intended to shut down the blog. It is ok to give-up, but just remember to return to the start line and try again.

Note: The path is not always clear. Your original destination will shift, success is not getting to your exact target the way you had hoped. Progress is your ability to keep your purpose rooted and to keep moving towards the reality that is ever evolving into another sunny day made new. Let the journey show you its next way and always play. Let love be the guiding force that is always winking.


When I was in highschool hanging out with the aggressive skaters, I was afraid, but would do crazy jumps over trash cans and side grabs in air. I cannot imagine, trying those things now. Yet there is a calling for me to be a bit more fun and challenge myself.

Fortunate to have an adventurous friend and roommate and beautiful trails within running distance.

I used to love just laying out and recharging under the sun. Another pastime brought back to life in our garden.

We even discovered that we can make a climb up to our roof and look at the full moon and watch the passing clouds.




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