For the first time in a long time, I feel at ease. It took accepting it all yet fighting for what I needed to be me. Saying ‘no’ to others and ‘yes’ to me. I want to be alone on Christmas. Sounds weird but I do like my own company.
To have a glass of wine, read a good book, cut fabrics and watch documentaries. Fortunate for me I spend quality time with family and friends on the days before and after. That way, I can busy myself with me.
I used to want to fill the silence with sound. Now I find comfort in woodfire winter walks. My lungs expand at what feels like a twinkle of light. No more trying to be. Now it is a matter of letting the path flow past. One day I will ride the wild.