Doors were slamming left and right, options lost and spirits low. 3-years I had committed to this Bali Fashion Dream. I closed my Bali studio for the final time. All that was left was a suitcase filled with coffees, teas and lost dreams. Everything was so rushed between the trip to the Philippines and just two days to wrap-up all lose ends. At LAX airport my sister Juliana pulled up with her red BMW and little pup Milo. We made our way to the town of Ventura. The scenery was beautiful with the beach coastline, rolling hills and farm country of citrus orchards.
What next? The first two days my sister and I butt heads with my anxiety at an all time high. I needed to know that everything hadn’t gone to waste. I wanted order and some sort of reassurance that I made the right choice to leave Bali. It wasn’t until I let go that was when freedom began. Such a silly girl I am, my new life is the fantasy of so many. The truth is Bali was turning me a bit mental with its hedonistic freedom and struggle to exist full-time as a expat. The red tape of having to fly out ever 30-60 days and costly visa and immigration status for a business owner wasn’t worth the return.
I am very blessed to have the most amazing friend who is managing our nonprofit social project in the North of Bali. Also to have sisters who care enough to kick me out of something that was slowly killing me. Perhaps I needed all my options to stop so that I could start. I intend to return to Bali regularly over the next few years for my business, but my main base (home) is still up for debate. For now, it will be in the hometown of the notorious social fashion business Patagonia.