Cutting the line tugging my sail. Not sure why or how these things unfold, but it freaks me out every time we start again. Life has a way of forcing you onto the stage. I look back as the curtain closes and this massive audience stares. Then what? I speak about those things that I am passionate about that have taken my youth gladly pushing me beyond even my own ideals. My mind seems sharp yet at times like blubber. The more lean we get the finer the instincts define. Yet we are left with complete ignorance. A problem is found, but the solution is buried in a stack of hay.
I stare down at my cute shoes and smile with truth. I bat my eyes and say, ‘lets do this’. Forget the mistakes, missed chances and should haves. They will never be. I can only stand still or charge again and again. There is no magic formula to this journey. If there was I would patent it and sell at a fraction of the cost. To each is another’s own. We cannot decide the walk, but only our own dance with fate and circumstance. I wish it was easy and pretty, but it simply is real. I accept it.
Outside I stand watching the rain fall in the morning silence. Even the sky must drop tears to nourish the earth. I saw that my dream tree had outgrown the small space of my garden. Its roots exposed and the earth not enough to cover. Maybe that is it. I must leave my comfortable pond in order to spread these dreams. Why so small and so limiting are my fears? I can do this. I take life planning in chucks of 6 month. I am so utterly blessed to have sisters: blood sisters and friend sisters that are like blood. Words can not cover the gratitude with arms of love. Smiling I dispose of the past and move forever unknowing.