I want to turn back and run away from this path I have taken. It is the roughest most challenging character breaker. I want to be a normal girl going for the 9-5. Fine that is a lie, but isn’t there some kind of in between. There simply isn’t I have tried to find it. We either sink of we swim. The choice is ours. To claw and crawl our way to the mountain top is killer. No one is strong by nature. Strength is carved by adversity. How does the body become firm and solid? Through pain. Even the muscle fibers must tear to grow. How then does the heart move?
Go there anywhere to the silence that your being can blossom. The wings of a butterfly coarse through tight spaces to form and expand. Even a plane must power up all engines and race to reach the sky. Let the pain move you, let it make you become the hero of your own life. There is no knight in shining armor. You carry the sword to slash away your burdens. Kiss her the girl you see in the mirror. Get to know what makes her smile. Take her out and explore the world together. Comfort does not lead to innovation, discomfort does. Innovation comes with the unacceptance of the norm. I do not accept that this world we live in must be so harmful to nature and man. I believe innovation is the unacceptance of false truths.
I seek out answer to these riddles of poverty and corruption. They must be somewhere in the villages or in the books of known. We misplaced our humanity in modernity. Though what was once lost can always be found again. Second chances is in the dust of magical spells cast to transform. I felt like giving up this crazy quest. Who am I, but one girl? Exactly I am one girl, one girl can change the world. I believe this so firmly that when I feel lost and I cannot believe anymore, I meet another girl named Ni Luh Sudianti (Green) and she reminds me that we have a responsibility to give other girls a chance to dream. By giving a girl a chance to dream in this we make the world better.
- Special note: There have been two major melt downs I have experienced. When I decided completely and totally to give up on the social program in August. The first time I cried and cried saying I am not strong enough I cannot take on the world. Then Green (Ni Luh Sudianti) who is building the program with me tells me to that the start is always the most difficult. Four months later I message her tired of fighting a never ending battle against funding and knowing the best method to transform lives. We both cry and the next day she tells me we must go on, there are too many girls that need us now. We must be strong! We are working on proposals to the local government in the North of Bali where prostitution is prevalent and opportunity lacking. Green is so young yet a powerhouse! She is from this poor village we speak of and if we can create the change I see in Green then yes we can together make a difference. WE PRESS ON TOGETHER!
Blog writing music for today: