It’s amazing how discouraged I get. I used to come home and there a loving partner waited to tell me I am doing the right things and to keep moving on. These days I sit with my thoughts thinking that the challenges I create are far greater than my ability to handle them. In the night I fall asleep convinced that in the morning I will just throw in the towel. Then the morning arrives and I think well its not that bad and what do I have to lose. I am doing the thing I believe in despite the challenges I face.
I messaged my dad the other night telling him of the challenges and that I am tired. The next day, I message him again to say, ‘giving up is always a consideration but never an option’. On and on we go. For a moment I wish I knew the challenges before signing up to this journey. I would have more then likely run the other direction thinking that I am not cut out for it. Though in time I have gotten stronger in mind and body. Maybe ignorance and naivety are necessary for us to move without fear toward the abyss.
Would I change it! Would I go back! Not a chance! I take the tears, I take the disappointment and mostly I take the joy in knowing that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to if I want it bad enough. If I am willing to put my heart and passion on the line to fuel my belief that I am doing my very best with this life. I can do this, I am doing this. I keep reminding myself that the strongest power that exist is faith, love and passion. If you can get that chemistry right then nothing can hold you back from your dreams.