What’s Wrong

When preparing to board my flight to Indo everything went totally wrong. I was not allowed to take my flight as I was required to have a visa during a layover in Australia. A visa to sit in the airport yes. I missed my flight and had to sort out logistics with the airline for a refund and booking. The incident got me thinking about a conversation I had with my brother-in-law the night before. I spoke of how I wanted to ‘make fashion’. It was the one thing that was holding me back from realizing my fashion designs. I had to rely on a seamstress and workshop.

Today I sat in my mother’s garden. After the flight complications I decided to give myself one week before going to Indonesia to rest. I have been going at this business for two years but everything I try seems to be a miss. I sat in meditation facing the pond with my back to the pine trees. A few birds chattered by as a restless calm came over the inner dialogue. I asked why is it not working, why am I hitting a wall, why am I feeling tired and forceful in my approach? Finally it struck me, I am dancing on the outskirts for fear of my own inability. It is easy to hide behind my education and lectures, but the thing that excites me is playing with fabric and making dresses. My crutch is that I studied fashion business rather then design and construction.

I bolted from the garden into the house and decided: now is the time for me to create. What I don’t know I can learn but I will not spend another moment hiding from my own talent. From a young age I loved the thought of making fashion, but social limitations of expectations left me fearful of pursuing it wholeheartedly. Well you know what world I tried the logical approach to building this business through innovative business strategies but now I will do it from the heart. Forget the rules I have learned them, now it is time to break them. * FYI I booked through United Airlines.

Time to be a designer again...pulled fabrics I had in my suitcase.

Time to be a designer again…pulled fabrics I had in my suitcase.

So fitting for inspiration.

So fitting for inspiration.

Working on a line recycling fabrics and using fabric remnants.

Working on a line using second hand garments and fabric remnants.

My mom's dining room table.

My mom’s dining room table.

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