Today I started a morning practice of one hour walking around the garden, journalling, followed by drinking large bottles of water. The sun was shining through the trees as it soared toward the brilliant blue sky. I found my mind bouncing through the same rings of thoughts and noticed patterns in brain drain. I observed each thought like checking names on a guest list. I turned away the ones that I knew were trouble makers. They kept lining up in a que like underage kids with fake ideas. It took ages until I realized man I really invite a lot of rift raft to my daily inner dialogue.
Then I decided to scrap my list of thoughts and cultivate ones of love. It felt a bit like pulling teeth to focus on what I was grateful for like a bratty child being told to say ‘thank you’. Most of the time my focus is on what I don’t have and what I need, rather than thinking back to what I have been given in life and what I have now. When I found a happy memory that turned my smile with flutters I rejoiced. I kept shooting and missing. Some thoughts were bland and almost fake, but then there went another shot in.
I gathered my journal and found that as I entered the house that happiness is always there. Like that great body, we have to work out and do the exercises to keep it up. We can’t just stop cultivating love and joy and expect to be happy. It has to be a part of our daily routine. If we stopped nourishing the body with food we would be hungry and eventually starve. Its a bit annoying at times. Someone ones said, ‘going to the gym is never a decision you regret’. I can say the same about being happy.