I ran through a field looking to find an escape. No matter how many times I try to keep it at bay the thoughts of doubt and insecurity blow in. I have to draw myself back to remember to be still. This is not a race. No hurry or pace is necessary. Everything is as it should be. Life isn’t meant to be perfect. It just is.
After trying out my new camera I sat in front of a corn field facing a farm thinking about my next moves. Then I realized I was waiting for something. I have been waiting for something my entire life. Like a masters degree, a visa, a relationship…any excuse I can find to be somewhere else. Gratitude, Gratitude, Gratitude why is it that I realize the best moments of my life after they occur.
Like this one, right now. The birds are chirping and the sun is rising as I wake in my little sister’s pink room. She tosses a bit as I type on my computer. I can hear my dad and step mom downstairs making breakfast. The fan overhead twirls a light wind and I am at ease. My mind doesn’t win this battle because I can see that what I have exactly as it is a wonderful blessing. I am so thankful again and wish not be anywhere. The me I am today is more then enough and the family I am blessed to love is far greater then the fantasy of tomorrow.