I laid in bed covered in tissues from a mix of a cold and tears from the night before. When I woke I fluttered my eyes open and began rewinding. Past memories that I flipped through like images on an iPhone, until I finally landed on the one I was after of a girl with a great big smile. She had just arrived in London to start fashion school.
I fixated on the way she was always hopeful. Last night I sat crying and wondering what is it all for why should I even bother anymore. It is just too hard to carry outside the norm. I thought to step back in line with the rest of the crowd and find the pace of the everyday.
But I felt her beaconing from the past reminding me that I am still that girl even as a woman. Dreams and joy come hand and hand and to give up on this dream is to give up on life. A life without the heart of a dream for me is no life at all. So I gather my tissues and wash my face because today is a new day and my dreams await. There are good days and there are bad ones but if the girl of the past and the woman of the present can learn to work together then maybe just maybe that second shot can be the one that changes everything.