My Other Half

When I cut the dragon fruit incorrectly, Christina who was helping to prepare food looked over and said that I have wasted much of the goodness. I never learned the correct way to cut it. In some ways I feel a bit incomplete in my heritage. When asked where I am from I respond with a foreign ascent in Indonesian ‘I am a local’. They laugh and smirk ‘local from where’.

I am trapped between the two worlds, despite being born in Indonesia my ‘nose is tall’ as the locals say and my accent and mannerisms ‘bule’ foreign.  I feel at times that I have read the ending of a novel without knowing the story that came before. I am now back tracking and trying to decipher the text that has been watered down with wear and time.

There are many looking to find the deeper meaning to the lives and self. I am ok with keeping it simple and I think it starts with learning how to prepare a dragon fruit properly without wasting all the good stuff.  In time I will become more Indonesian by absorbing the culture that surrounds me.  I have to be proactive and welcoming.  I have intentionally avoided living in a predominantly expat area, so that I can  amerce myself more in the local society.  I am blessed to have experienced an amazing western life, but there is a longing for me to discover the Indonesian elements of my person.  I think this evolution can be a very beautiful and rewarding.  One that I hope to pass on and share with my children. Despite my crazy work life I would like to settle down and have a family one day.

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